


Skin too tight

by Luni_Ambrose



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Crying, Diary/Journal, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luni_Ambrose/pseuds/Luni_Ambrose
Summary: „It’s just… another book I am trying to write.“ She bit her lower lip.„I know you’re lying, Ashley. It’s your diary. This is how you feel…how much you suffer."





	Skin too tight

**Author's Note:**

> Triggerwarning: This story contains suicide, self harm and brief mentions of rape.  
> If this triggers you in any form, please do not continue

_Skin too tight._  
_Feeling worthless._  
_I want to scream._  
_But I remain silent._  
_As always._

She was tired as she stood in front of the big hotel. It was in the middle of the night as the two busses arrived. 'Finally' ,she thought to herself. Quickly she got her stuff out of her bagpack. A few drawings, a few copies of her book.  
The first wrestlers rushing out of the busses, grabbing their luggage and walking straight into the lobby. Passing by, not even looking at her. And she was too shy to say a word. Maybe they didn’t want to be disturbed right now. Maybe they didn’t like her face at all.  
She watched them walk by. She felt her heart breaking. She wasn’t even worth a second of their time. Most of them already gone. She packed back her stuff, kneeling on the cold concrete.  
All too familiar shoes appearing in front of her backpack.  
„Long time no see..“ Oh how she missed his voice…  
Slowly she got up, greeting Mike.  
„Yeah.. like…two years?“ He hugged her tightly.  
„Time for a little catch up at the bar?“ Mike asked. He already smelled like he had some drinks beforehand. Slowly she nodded, grabbing her bag and followed him into the warm lobby. Her skin tingling from the nearly hot air hitting her frozen body.

They sat down in the cozy corner of the dark bar, ordering drinks.  
„So.. you’re still to shy to talk to any of them?“ Mike laughed. „You’ve met most of them already. They don’t bite…usually.“  
She shrugged. „Don’t want to waste anyone’s time. You know me… Just had a few things to hand out or maybe get signed…Nothing that’s worth bothering anyone in the middle of the night.“  
„Guess you’re attending the show here? I can get your stuff signed and hand out whatever you want. Just like old times.“ He grinned, clearly amused as he enjoyed his whiskey.  
She nodded, finishing her cocktail before handing him the stuff. „I’ll be there… it’s pretty late..you should get some rest, nerd. See you before the show. And thank you.“

It was around 11am when she noticed she had lost her notebook, her diary… she felt the panik rise in her chest.  
She immediately knew where she lost it… or better said, she had handed it to Mike with the copies of her book. Damn.

Quickly she showered before making her way back to the hotel. For over two hours she just sat there, hopes high that Mike would go for a walk. But nothing happened. She was desperate. Tears forming in her eyes. This was a good damn nightmare.  
She realized that someone was walking out of the hotel. She looked up, just to see Dean staring right at her. He suddenly turned around, rushing back into the lobby before disappearing towards the elevators. She laughed a little. It wasn’t the first time she saw him behaving this way.

All of the sudden Mike showed up in the lobby, walking straight out of the hotel. He looked awful. Damn. She was sure he had read her diary.  
„Where is it?“ She asked as soon as Mike stood in front of her. Instead of an answer he pulled her into a tight hug.  
„Why haven’t you said a thing?“  
„Where is my diary, Mike?“  
„In my room.“  
„I need it back.“  
He nodded, taking her with him. Dean was standing in the lobby, closely watching. Had he told Mike she was there?  
They walked to the elevators, Dean followed silently. Great.

They finally arrived in his room, Dean still following.  
On his bed laid her diary. And Finn was sitting next to it. What the hell?  
She rushed to the bed, grabbing her diary and tried to just run out of the room. But Dean stood in front of the door, blocking her way out.  
„Sorry, little lady. Mike wants to talk to you…“ Dean said, arms crossed in front of his muscular body.  
She sighed, turning around to face Mike.  
„It’s just… another book I am trying to write.“ She bit her lower lip.  
„I know you’re lying, Ashley. It’s your diary. This is how you feel…how much you suffer. That you’re thinking about suicide…that you’re collecting pills. That you’re back to cutting yourself.“ Mike looked lost. „I just want to help you. I know I shouldn’t have read it. But I did. And I told them. Because I felt like I was going to break apart. Nobody should think this way about themselves. Nobody should hurt themselves. And suicide isn’t an escape. It’s being cowardly.“

She just stood there, mouth slightly open to say something. But the words died in her throat.  
Finn got up from the hotel bed. „He cares so much.. don’t be angry. He needed someone to talk. Mike just wants to help you get back on track. And if there is anything we can do.. let us know.“  
„No. Just let me go. It’s my life. And here..“ she pulled up her sleeves, showing off her arms. „…just old scars. Everything is fine.“

„Okay… Strip to your underwear and if there are no fresh cuts… you’re free to go.“ Dean said, a slightly amused tone in his voice. He knew the cuts wouldn’t be anywhere that visible.  
„Damn you! I just hate you…all of you!“ Her walls started to crumble. „Fine. It’s my freaking diary. Yes, I hate my life, my body. Yes, I take and collect pills. And hey guys, let me tell you something… there is no way for you to stop me. Your tour ends tomorrow…your sweet asses will be on a god damn plane in under 24 hours. And I'll be dead before your feet hitting American ground. It’s my decision. I've been alone for years. Been hated. Been bullied. Got raped as a young girl. Never felt loved. This is me. My life. And my end. I just finished my last book… It’s all said and done. Sorry.“ She broke down. A crying mess in the middle of a hotel room.

Mike sat down next to her, pulling her close. It felt like forever. Finally she calmed down, pushing Mike away before getting up. Ashley felt three pairs of eyes on her as she shoved down her pants. Legs completely covered in fresh cuts. Red, thick and swollen.  
„Please…. Let me go.“ Tears still streaming down her face, leaving wet trails.  
„I just want to save you, Ash. You’re my little baby girl.“ Mike was on his feet again. Holding his hands towards her. „Just let us help you. I want to be there for you. You’re not worthless. You need to tell your story to the world. Encourage other people to start fighting for themselves.“

She pulled up her pants. „No.“  
Once again she tried to escape the room. Dean still blocking the door.  
„Let me out, Dean. I beg you. This isn’t anything you should put your nose into.“  
„I can’t… We made a promise to help Mike to save you. And I'm not going to break that.“  
It went down quickly. A hard low blow, Dean falling over. She rushed out of the room, just running as fast as she could. Ashley heard Mike screaming something. She knew she couldn’t take the elevator down. But running eight floors? She ran down two stores before hiding on that floor.

She found a small couch in the corner of the long corridor. Coughing she sat down. Her legs were hurting as hell. With a newspaper she tried to cover as much of herself as she could.  
Someone walked by, talking on the phone.  
„Yeah… Okay…“ The voice sounded familiar. „I’m on the sixth floor…“ The man stopped right next to her. „Red hair? Black lace shirt?“  
Ashley knew that her cover just blew. She jumped up, trying to run away. He just grabbed her wrist. It felt like he was about to snap that bone in half. In a matter of seconds he pushed her to the ground, holding her in place. She struggled, trying to push him away.  
„Get the fuck off of me!“ She screamed, tears streaming down her face.  
„Nope…not happening.“

For a minute there was this awkward silence. Footsteps.  
„Thank god you found her, Corbin.“ It was Finn, followed by Mike.  
„Just walked by as you called, little one.“ There was a hell lot of amusement in his voice.  
She was still crying on the floor, Baron still pressing her down onto the light blue carpet.  
„Can you get her up?“ Mike asked, voice filled with panic and concern.  
A few moments later she was standing on wobbling knees. Eyes red, tears still streaming down her face.  
„I'd appreciate if someone would tell me why I had to tackle downa crying woman…“ Corbin said, his big hands holding her arms on her back.  
„She’s trying to commit suicide tomorrow…“ It was Dean who appeared behind them.  
He took over her hands. „Never do that again, sweetheart. My nuts hurt pretty badly.“  
She heard something click behind her. Someone grabbed her belt and it clicked again. Ashley turned her head around to see that a silver chain connected her to Baron.  
She got a little pushed and pulled on the way back, trying to fight the four guys that surrounded her.

When they finally arrived in Mike’s room Baron pulled her onto his lap, the chain still connecting them.  
Ashley was still crying silently, feeling nauseous.  
It was Finn who noticed it first.  
„Unchain her, Corbs. She’s getting sick…“ The small irish wrestler held out his hand while Corbin took off the chain. She grabbed his hand and he led her into the bathroom. Ashley kneeled in front of the toilet, puking out her guts. Finn was right next to her, holding up her hair.

When she finally stopped she felt better. Finn helped her up, showing her the brand new toothbrush next to the sink before leaving her a little bit of space.

„I guess it was a little too much… she just said she got raped. Sitting on the lap of some stranger…“  
She stepped out of the bathroom, silencing Finn, slowly walking towards Mike who was sitting on the bed. Ashley sat down next to him, wrapped her arms around him. The silence in the room was strange. Mike just gently caressed her back and head. He felt her relaxing in his arms. Slowly he laid back, pulling her with him. Soon she was snuggled up against him, sleeping peacefully.

Dean grabbed the thin blanket from the couch and covered Ashley and Mike with it. He left the room, followed by Finn and Baron.  
„So…what’s the big plan?“ Baron asked as soon as they stepped into the corridor.  
„Mike said he just wants to talk to her.. that he'll be there, whenever she needs him. As for me… She needs help. More than a random guy telling her everything will be better someday.“ Finn sighed.  
They discussed a few ways they thought could help but in the end they were sure she needed real, professional help.  
By the time they stepped back into the room Ashley was awake again. She was still resting in Mike’s arms. An awkward silence filled the room until Baron found his words.  
„I guess you need help. Real help. There is no way Mike can save you unless you want to be saved. The right place for you…is an…asylum.“  
Her dark eyes went wide. She jumped out of the bed. Once again it was Dean standing in her way.  
„It was a god damn mistake to even try to get my diary back. I just want to leave…got a wrestling show to attend tonight.“  
„You are going to stay here… or we really consider calling an ambulance to get you into a clinic.“ Finn said, gently reaching for her wrist. „We’ll take you to the show and back here. We can talk..“  
Ashley knew she wouldn’t even stand a chance against three well trained wrestlers and…yeah…one ring announcer.

She finally agreed to stay. Baron handed his chain over to Mike. „Guess she likes you more…“ He left without saying anything else.  
Mike tapped onto the mattress. She knew she had to obey in order not to got send to an asylum. He connected the chain to her belt as well to his. There war still enough space in between them so she felt at least more comfortable than with sitting on Corbin’s lap.  
Finn and Dean left Mike and Ashley alone until it was time to get to the venue. The chain was gone by that time. A few fans were waiting outside the hotel as Mike took Ashley with him through the backdoor. A dark van already waiting. They got to the venue and Mike took her around. Finally they went to the catering. It was intimidating for her to be so close to some of the wrestlers. Shyly she stared at her hands for most of the time.

Just before the show she asked for a bathroom break. Mike agreed and was waiting in front of the door. Ashley smiled. Nobody had taken a look into her handbag. Around 70 different pills in a little bag. She chugged them down in groups of 10 with a little bit of water. She splashed her face afterwards before returning to Mike.  
Finn had managed to get her a seat at ringside with an security right next to her. It was fun to watch the show. She smiled a lot, feeling better than ever.  
Around the time of the main event Ashley started to feel a little dizzy. Her heartbeat slowing down, sweat on her skin while she felt like she was about to freeze. Her stomach was turning. Finn would be fighting with Elias against Dean and Baron. Finn came out first, smiling at her. When Elias came out to perform Finn jumped out of the ring, just casually standing right in front of her.  
„That smile suits you, girl.“  
She said nothing. Her world was turning. When the match finally was on the way she sat down. Ashley knew, it wouldn’t be long anymore. She barely felt her own heart. Everything went black the moment Finn pinned Corbin.

The security jumped out of his seat, trying to help her. The other people were celebrating the victory of Elias and Finn. Mike realized she wasn’t on the barricade. Quickly he made his way there, seeing her blacked out on the floor. He jumped the barricade. He tried to feel her heartbeat. But there was nothing.  
He tried his best to reanimate the young woman in front of him. Tears streaming out of his eyes. More people realized the incident, some started screaming.  
More security came to their aid, pushing away the crowd to give the paramedics free access.  
Finally Finn, Dean and Baron realized the situation, jumping over the barricade as well. They grabbed Mike, pushing him out of the situation to let the paramedics do their work.  
But it was too late. He knew it. They knew it.

Mike just stood there, watching the paramedics. They tried. But at the end they had to give up.  
The helpless ring announcer fell to his knees. A ice cold breeze hit is neck. Like she just passed by for a last goodbye.

 

 

_Time could never heal the wounds._  
_Skin broken._  
_Just as the soul._  
_Someday heaven or hell would take me._  
_Everything better than suffering in silence._  
_It’s better this way._  
_At least for me._

 


End file.
